The tweet life of Colby Granger
by Damerel
Summary: We all know that Colby has a Twitter account but just what does a busy FBI agent, who stays anonymous online because of his job, find to tweet about?  Ends with slash pairing, though all very PG.  Not to be taken in the least bit seriously.


Just to avoid any confusion: I know Twitter presents the most recent tweet at the top but for ease of reading I've presented it the other way round so that this starts with the oldest tweet and finishes with the most recent. In other words, read it the same way you would any normal story. :)

Huh. Seems that FFN won't let me insert the 'at' symbol into this at all, which is a bit of a problem when trying to reproduce Twitter conversations. Please just take anything in italics to be a Twitter username, so if a statement starts _IheartPi_, then CG_in_LA is tweeting to Twitter user IheartPi.

Is that as clear as mud? Hopefully it makes sense.

Twitter account  
>CG_in_LA<p>

**Tweets**  
>Long day at work but Ranger41 arrives today to complete my ranger series collection. Can't wait to get home!<p>

What takeout should I get on way home? I'm up for anything except Chinese.

Thanks for suggestions – went with Thai, but disaster: Ranger41 not here!

* * *

><p>crap day at work. went for unexpected swim, and colleagues said I couldn't have leather bikini as my avatar. Discrimination!<p>

Yes it is possible to go swimming unexpectedly. All u need to do is have my job. Just keeps on happening to me.

* * *

><p><em>italian_dollhouse <em>Ranger 41 still not here; what is going on?

_italian_dollhouse_ Thx for proof of posting.

Can't believe anyone would steal army action figure. what is wrong with people?

But then I didn't know so many people shoplifted either. they don't in Idaho. I don't think so anyhow.

* * *

><p>Day off! Surfing, then buddy, beer, game and takeout. Awesome.<p>

So how do I get my bud to make a twitter account? he thinks I should call him every time I want to talk.

I know, right? But he's still my buddy.

* * *

><p><em>italian_dollhouse<em> think this now solved, were problems with LA carrier: barcode guy out sick & boxes missing. All sorted now, just waiting.

* * *

><p>Tell me, am I more a chicken salad kind of guy or a roast beef kind of guy?<p>

No I don't know what it means either.

_number_5_ thx for follow. What do you mean I'm a 'venison kind of a guy'?

_number_5_ **BAMBI?**

_number_5 _'beseeching eyes and long legs'! think u got me confused w someone else there, bud.

What does beseeching mean?

(just kidding)

* * *

><p>haven't slept in almost forever. work is kicking my ass right now.<p>

_number_5_ you know this about my ass how? am I going to have to take out restraining order?

_number_5_ not THOSE sorts of restraints or orders.

think I'll call it a night. ranger41 still not here, and some people getting weird.

* * *

><p><em>swat_ruler<em> Good work today, TK.

_swat_ruler _You still owe me 20 bucks.

* * *

><p>Crap crap crap – disaster at work.<p>

_bossman_ Um, the package we were supposed to pick up? Slight problem.

Shit about to hit fan any second now…

_bossman_ Yessir. on our way.

Anyone got spare tickets to Uzbekistan they can let me have in next 10 mins? 1 for me, 1 for my buddy.

* * *

><p>Ranger41 finally here! He's awesome, every detail perfect &amp; his clothes come off so can optimise for different scenarios<p>

_number_5_ No, Ranger41 and I don't get naked together, u weirdo.

_italian_dollhouse_ thanx for safe delivery; will order from u again if I can.

* * *

><p>Ugh. This sucks. Either last night's tequila keeps coming back or I'm pregnant.<p>

_swat_ruler_ Twenty bucks. Sound familiar? I need it for child support.

_swat_ruler_ settle down buddy – it's not yours.

_swat_ruler_ because you can't get pregnant from what we did, my momma told me so.

_MGinWinchester_ sorry mom. no it wasn't funny.

_MGinWinchester_ hope to be there for Christmas this year. xx

_number_5_ no I'm not getting hot and swatty with TK on regular basis – jeez!

* * *

><p><em>IheartPi<em> Joke for Larry: The barman says 'Sorry we don't serve neutrinos in here'. A neutrino walks into a bar.

* * *

><p>Age shall not weary them, nor the years condemn.<br>At the going down of the sun and in the morning  
>We will remember them.<br>#memorialday

* * *

><p>Idaho is rock-climbing nirvana? Huh. Who knew?<p>

Ok, ok, so ev1 but me knew.

_swat_ruler_ If you're so knowledgeable, what comes after 19 and before 21?

* * *

><p>FFS WHAT IS WRONG WITH U AMERICAN GOLFERS? #ryderup<p>

Why arnt you on twiter buddy? need to kick ur ass to cheer myselfup.

_bossman_ if u ever have kids, don't ask _IheartPi_ to babysit.

_bossman_ Just sayin

_IheartPi_ you think kids are easier than a gerbil? i rest my case

still cant blieve they wont let me wear leather bikini at work

_number_4 _ thank u – i think i would rock it too

not feelin 2 good

* * *

><p><em>IheartPi<em> sorry charlie. had few beers last night 2 drown sorrows of #rydercup. buy u new marker as apology? heard they do lemon-scented ones now. david loves them.

_number_4 _ Are you the artist formerly known as _number_5_?

number_4 says 'I could tell you but then I'd have to kill you.' Ev1 thinks they're a comic.

Did I tell you my buddy is the biggest comic geek EVER? Srsly and he doesn't get twitter?

_number_4_ So how'd you move up a number?

_number_4_ 'skill', huh? Not going to ask what sort.

_number_4_ u want to show me ur skills by kidnapping and handcuffing me? Bud, u better unfollow me right now or face consequences. i mean it.

* * *

><p>Sorry for no updates. Got kidnapped and handcuffed. All good now though, Stockholm syndrome finally kicked in and am in love with kidnapper<p>

That wasn't me! Damn _number_4_ stole my phone when I was in shower.

I'm fine ev1, thanks; not like it sounds, really. He was just joking.

_MGinWinchester_ Mom, I'm fine, promise. Battery low so will call u tomorr…

This is _number_3_: Sorry everyone, CG_in_LA is signing off. He's going to be a little busy for the foreseeable future.


End file.
